I am TERRIBLE at HTML (and like, css too i guess) + other things i wanna talk about

this neocities site was made because i am TERRIBLE at html and i wanted to learn. and after 11 months... i have NOT gotten better. okay, thats a lie, but i look at some of these other neocities sites and im like... how?? how does someone make something so good???

the main thing im absolutely horrible at is css to be honest. i can understand js well enough to work on this website (although im still learning that) but i have no idea how to use css. i just open up w3schools and say to myself "fuck it we ball" and EVENTUALLY something kinda works. to be honest though, its definitely better than my old website. if i check out stack overflow with an issue, they either say "html isn't a coding language" or some extremely complicated solution that i UNDERSTAND, but i dont wanna do. so like, for example the sidenav is just a manual thing i have to change on every webpage whenever i need to update it. i COULD make it easier for myself using javascript, but do i NEED to do that? nah, not really.

anyway, i had a mockup of this website, and what i wanted it to be. i tried, but in the end it ended up looking like a mcdonalds playplace. it does look unique at least. the mockup was very reminiscent of the old bungie website, but i started to go off-track...

does anyone else do that? have a clear idea of something in your head, but as time goes on and you actually start working on the project, you tweak it in such extreme ways that it looks nothing like what you had in mind? usually it looks worse. sometimes it doesn't. even after 11 months, i still cant decide if it was a good decision to go off the rails and make THIS. maybe that means i dislike it... i dont know dude

+ the other things i wanna talk about

i want to play fallout 4 again, but my xbox copy is basically unusable at this point. even without mods, it still takes... 15 seconds to open up the pip-boy? i might just stick to fallout london for now.

oh right, this would have had some images of the older version of my website, but archive.org got hacked a couple of hours ago and its causing it to run extra slow...

im working on getting into some webrings, so look forward to that